For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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