Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
