Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
