Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
