my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
