i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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