Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
