I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
