Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize