Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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