1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize