Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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