Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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