So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
