So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
