I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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