i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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