just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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