I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
