I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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