so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
