I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Randomize
