I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm both gender and math confused
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
