new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
