You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
