I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize