Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize