I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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