Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize