did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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