My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
