Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I love you.
Bad choice
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
