Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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