That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
