You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
