tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize