theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
