Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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