i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
