she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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