you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
