im drinking this country out of the recession.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
