oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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