ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
