Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
