You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
