Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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