I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
