But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
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