I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
