I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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