Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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