Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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