Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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