Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
