so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
