I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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