nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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