I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize