i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize